


Magnificent Eagle

by Ambercreek



Category: Farmville
Genre: Don't Like Don't Read, Gen, Lemon, M/M, Multi, chocolate chip cookie dough, food as lube, hot yoai
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-18
Updated: 2014-10-05
Packaged: 2018-02-09 08:53:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 1,367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1976754
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ambercreek/pseuds/Ambercreek
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Trilling tale of a man and his love for cows.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> (please don't take this seriously, i made this with a few friends)

It was dismal October day. A young sampson  sat brooding over how uneventful his life  has been. he looked around the familiar scene, past the cow paddock and into the distant field (true american soil). Looking down he saw he had an internet connection and his friends had been messaging him on facebook to play this new game. Farmcity? farmville? he couldn’t remember. Opening the app he saw that the game turned out to be terrible.

How could his friends send him something like this? They know that all his life he had been a farmer, and ever wanting to escape its clutches. He closed the app in disgust and proceed to bushhog.

It was around 10 when he finally finished and was able to call it a day. Quickly scarfed his meal and retreated to his room. It wasn’t long before he descended into sleep.   

Colors began to swirl and an image of his old preschool classroom. But something didn’t seem right at all. Gazing down at himself he saw that he was just in his normal teenage body. What was happening here? Not too long the side of the wall started to turn to sand. His feet sank into the sand causing him to slip into the floorboard.

In the room that he fell into it was covered in gold. Miles of gold just sitting there, it felt like something out of the hobbit? Before the storm was over the room began to vibrate violently and massive dicks started to rise from the floor.

The sampson jolted awake in a cold sweat. “That was confusing?” he said swaggly. He got up from his bed and looked around his room to see if anything was out of the ordinary. But this wasn’t his room? Where was he, everything was in bright colors and annoying music rang in his ears.

“Wtf” he interjackulated.

....To be continued?


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It starts

It was a sunny mid morning and the bird were chirping loudly. It was almost giving him a headache. The music was still crooked in his ears, rattling his ear drums.

Taking a gander outside the winder to see that the land had become oddly pixelated.

Rusing down the stairs, he tripped and fell and just kept on going. The stairs never stopped.

“I warned you about the stairs bro, I told you dog.” A strange voice whispered in his ear.

Landing nose first onto the floor and rocked back and forth a little bit. Before his body laid flat on the ground.

“My nyas.” A voice called out to him. He got up from the floor and started to follow it. 

Opening the door to the outside, he got a better look at what the land he was in. Everything was in a rather cubic formation. Nothing seemed to be out of place. 

or did it?

....To be conutied?


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Slow down, grab the wall  
> Wiggle like you tryna make yo ass fall off

“Look out.” screamed a cow. Fruit loops are raining down from the sky. The wizard caught and fire came out his butt. 

This place was unnaturaly unnatural, everything was too bright. Where was he? Everything was just so different from when he went to sleep. He saw a birds flying by backwards and the sun was almost down from the top of sky.

He ran very fast to the closes house and knocked on the door. A lady poked her head through the window. 

“Wat is it deary?” said the old lady. She was fairly old looking, her face looked like it was started to fall off at any moment.

“Where am I, what is this place.” replied the sampson.

“You’re in farmville, deary. Except it’s not normally this wonky.” 

[muffled gas pedal in the distance] 

......To be continued?


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fire burns

The sampson had lost all track of time that has passed since he arrived here. The stupid tune still continued to play on repeat, showing no signs of stopping.

Nothing on the farm was eatable, everything he go and reach for it, the crop just disappeared into thin air.

He huddled close into a corner of his home. Roasting a can of beans over a fire that was stolen from the old lady that he met. Speaking of her, ever since that one encounter the sampson has not seen her after that. Assuming that she died and is now currenly rooting into the floorboard of that old rickety house. Deep dark bags hung under his eyelids, not remembering when was the last time he had slept. All he knew that somehow, in someway, he was the one to fix it. 

Gazed into the flames, watching the bright orange blips of light as they danced around the can. Ever once in a while and amber flicked off on to the stick.

Something in his mind started to click.

A wide grin spread to his face

He knew what he need to do.

....To be continued


	5. Chapter Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How does the sampson deal with anything?

Rising up, back on the street  
Did my time, took my chances  
Went the distance, now I'm back on my feet  
Just a man and his will to survive

So many times it happens too fast  
You trade your passion for glory  
Don't lose your grip on the dreams of the past  
You must fight just to keep them alive

It's the eye of the tiger  
It's the thrill of the fight  
Rising up to the challenge of our rival  
And the last known survivor  
Stalks his prey in the night  
And he's watching us all with the eye of the tiger

Face to face, out in the heat  
Hanging tough, staying hungry  
They stack the odds still we take to the street  
For the kill with the skill to survive

It's the eye of the tiger  
It's the thrill of the fight  
Rising up to the challenge of our rival  
And the last known survivor  
Stalks his prey in the night  
And he's watching us all with the eye of the tiger

Rising up, straight to the top  
Had the guts, got the glory  
Went the distance, now I'm not gonna stop  
Just a man and his will to survive

It's the eye of the tiger  
It's the thrill of the fight  
Rising up to the challenge of our rival  
And the last known survivor  
Stalks his prey in the night  
And he's watching us all with the eye of the tiger

The eye of the tiger  
The eye of the tiger  
The eye of the tiger  
The eye of the tiger


	6. Chapter Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The thrilling cocksolution

The fire gave him the idea, he could end it all. If he burned down this reality, that it should make it be able for him to jump back to his original one. It just had to work, he wasn’t a scientist for nothing. He stood up from his sitting position very quickly. Still staring down at the can of bean that have long been forgotten. He realized that nothing mean anything and he should end it all with the flames.

Hosting a flaming log over his head, he screams maniacally into the night. Still holding on the log, he rushes for a door, but every time that he got close, the door moved farther and farther away. Like that this reality didn't want him to leave, ever.

Anger swelled up in his body with every fail attempt to escape. A nagging thought entered his mind. _Maybe he should just burn himself, it would be better for you and everyone._

Yes that was it, he should just burn himself. It was the only thing that he could still control. The world had taken everything from him, even his sanity. It was the only way.

He let the fire log drop and his hair was the first thing to catch fire. Feeling the burning sensation on his scalp. He let out a loud cackle, he liked it.

The his skin burn and so did his clothes. Not before long his whole body was engulfed in flames. It was burning away at his skin, the horrifying smell of the skin lingered in the air.

This was it, this was the end. Everything that he ever knew and loved was about to disappear, he was finally free from this horrible reality.

_And with a whoosh he was gone._


End file.
